Marijuana is found in nature as a plant with multiple thin leaves, and can either be found in uncivilized lands or in the private gardens of some individuals. The plant itself is highly toxic, and if ingested directly, can cause a victim to fall into a comatose state, or worse, become a Philosophical Zombie. Even passing within a certain distance of the plant has been known to cause mild hallucinations. When harvested, the leaves are generally removed from the stems (although some exceptions are known) and ground up to enable easier transportation. When it reaches the recipient user, they roll it in specially treated paper to form a spindle shape. They then light the end with whatever means available, although most users prefer a flame discolored with other chemicals to enhance the effect. Marijuana is also known by the street terms "weed,""pot,""crack,""stump,""plant,""heroin,""rat poison," and "that skunky-ass shit that my man Foamie sells."
The main threat with marijuana is the obvious health risks. Marijuana affects multiple parts of the body negatively, including (but not limited to) the lungs, brain, eyes, and genitals. The drug contains twice the carcinogens of government-sanctioned tobacco products and actively attacks the immune system of the lungs, leading to a near-cubing of the likelihood for lung cancer in the user. It also induces severe hallucinations and slows down brain waves, leading to severe mental retardation in mild cases, and, in extreme cases, prolonged listening to Phish records. It severely hampers the users ability to drive, read, or recognize an incoming train. Lastly, it is confirmed in all reported cases to result in complete infertility and a decreased sex drive, which may be the only positive side effect of the drug. Worse, many of these effects can be passed onto nearby users through secondhand smoke.
Other risks of smoking marijuana
Likely to cause a sudden, comical fascination with one's own hands.
May lead to an increase in cubism in individuals susceptable to such dimensional shifts.
May cause pregnancy in women who have recently been sexually active.
May cause sudden shortage of nachos and cheese fries.[1]
Commonly manifests a profound understanding of the elaborate workings underlying life and the cosmos, but an inability to express any of it in words.
Research links the drug to increased frequency of midnight fried chicken, Taco Bell, and Carl's Jr./Hardee's/White Castle runs, a known cause of going broke and getting fat.
article from uncycloprdia and is strictly in satirical form
01 if you're a viper - jim kweskin & the jug band\
02 up in smoke - cheech & chong
03 don;t bogary that joint - fraternity of man
04 marijauna - country joe & the fish
4a willie nelson marijuana ad
05 oh pleasant hope - blue cheer
06 smoka bola - weird al yankovich
07 seeds and stems - commander cody
08 one toke over the line - brewer & shipley
8a the bust
09 why did i get so high - peanut butter conspiracy
10 henry - new riders of the pruple sage
11 don't step on the grass sam - steppenwolf
12 mr farmer - seeds
13 stems and seeds - solar circus
14 sweet leaf - black sabbath
14a acapulco gold filters
15 the pot smokers song - neil diamond
16 marijauna hemp blues - muddy waters
17 marijauna( devil in disguise) - johnny price
18 coming into los angeles - arlo guthrie
19 merryjauna - ph factor
19a ksan marijauna initiative ad
20 minnie the moocher - cab calloway
21 charlie's garden - nrps
22 smoke two joints - toyes
23 hashish - indian puddin'& pipe
24 eight miles high - byrds
